Men and Friendship

Jonathan once again swore to David in his love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.

1 Samuel 20:17 (HCSB)

When the young man had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone Ezel, fell with his face to the ground, and bowed three times. Then he and Jonathan kissed each other and wept with each other, though David wept more.

1 Samuel 20:41 (HCSB)

Is this wrong? Is there something wrong with a man loving another man?

The answer is “No!” But we need to qualify that answer. This was not homosexual love. This was not something perverted. These were two men who were manly in every way. They were warriors. They were champions. They were godly. They were fully heterosexual.

These two men were friends. The King James says that the “soul” of Jonathan was “knit” to the soul of David. Their souls were literally “tied” together. This is a close bond of friendship—nothing funny or perverted about it. It was holy and wholesome.

This is a kind of friendship that is missing from our culture today. Much of the friendship between men to day is shallow. We fail to experience this deeper kind of friendship because of ignorance and fear. We do not know that it can exist. We have been taught that for two men to love each other is wrong and twisted. We build walls up against it. The consequence is that most men do not experience this kind of friendship with another man, and we are the poorer for it!

I pray that God will give us men the wisdom to know that we need friends. We need real men friends. There is a bond of friendship that can exist between two men that will strengthen them and make them better men without harming their manhood. There is this holy friendship that is not perverted and sinful. The truth is that every man needs a true friend just as David needed Jonathan. I pray that God gives each of us men a friend just like this and that each of us will be a friend like this.

A note to guys: I'd like to hear from you on this one. What are your thoughts?